Saturday morning, September 28, the first day of class, sitting before me was each of you, some assistant superintendents, principals, assistant principals, and teacher leaders who had recently completed your principal certification. Each of you had a plan for your career. Each of you had arrived at some level of authority or trust within your school district.
In essence, each of you had made it through several years of close scrutiny and had passed muster. You were seen by your superiors as worthy of trust within the organization. As you look back at your career, there were moments where you rose to the next echelon of the organization while many of your peers, including some who would love to have your job, remained in the existing role or have moved on to other things. You survived and you prevailed. Now you are embarking on a superintendency certificate which will qualify you for the next level of trust and authority.
I posed the question to each of you: " What was it that allowed you to make it through several levels of very close scrutiny to arrive at the position of trust that you now hold?" Your responses were varied. One individual replied: "I have learned what to say and what not to say in difficult situations. If it is important, I revisit the matter later when things have cooled down." Another replied: "It is because I know what I want and I am patient." Another responded: "I am careful about my friendships on the job and how I interact with them. I have to learn when and where I associate with friends. I have remain focused on my role and my responsibilities." One leader shared a completely surprising yet memorable response to those of us who were in attendance: "Dr. Herrington, when I came to my school, they saw that I cared about the students and that I knew what I was doing. But there was another individual who, it seemed, was certain to become the next principal -- until one day she became angry when a student would not quite playing hacky sack in the lunch line. She seized the hacky sack and kicked it over the fence. By the time the dust had settled this person was no longer considered for the position. That hacky sack incident was what tipped the scale in favor of me to become the next principal of the school.
As a class, when we heard the story, there were mixed reactions including surprise, amazement, and even some laughter. The moment anyone is placed on a pedestal, the scrutiny and standards of behavior increase exponentially. It can be easy to fall off the pedestal for some. But for future superintendents there has to be a high standard of conduct and careful self-monitoring behavior and self presentation. Those that remain focused, reasonable, and measured in the responses to difficult situations will be able to withstand the daily scrutiny of hundreds or even thousands of people. Probably most people can point to a near hacky sack moment before reason prevailed and they considered how their behavior would play out in the broader scheme of things.
The Hacky Sack Moment (with apologies to Mr. Israel Rios) has found its way into my teaching lexicon. Emotional Intelligence is certainly a key factor that enables one to succefully navigate such moments and to made the right impression on hundreds, even thousands of people by the time a story is told and retold.
My challenge to class members is to respond to this post with your own suggestions about ways to avoid having a hacky sack moment. This a brain storming session so please be thorough and write out your thoughts completely. We will examine each of your responses to create a top ten list by the time we are finished. I look forward to reading your responses. dh
In dealing with more and more custody issues with parents at my level, both parties can get emotionally charged instantly, making conversations intense quickly. First and foremost it is essential to remember that there is high level of frustrations and emotions on both sides and you cannot take anything personally when dealing with people at any age when the emotional level is so high that it affects the rationality thinking of the person. When dealing with parents in custody issues I remove myself from the equation by stating that we are not here to take sides of either parent but are willing to work with both parents because our first duty is to their child and the school setting must be a neutral safe place for their child. It would not be fair to the child if we were partial to either parent in these issues, but remain concentrated on our primary duty to serve the child in an educational capacity. I also try to remember in heated debates or conflicts that if I lose my cool then I have lost control of the situation. If a parent comes with a problem to hopefully resolve and during the conversation the parent escalates the level, I have a choice to meet that level of escalation back to the parent, however, what happens next is the parent goes to the Superintendent, not with the problem the parent brought you, but how you were rude in dealing with this parent. Calm is power and is a daily requisite for the various situations that each of us encounters at work.
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ReplyDeleteI think honesty is one of if not the best was to keep yourself from having a “hacky sack moment”. If you lie about something it will sooner or later come back and get you. There is a down side to honesty sometimes people do not want to hear the truth and your candor could upset them. This is where you will have to learn how to be honest but put it in a way to make the person feel ok if you are giving them bad news or correcting them. Example: If you have a teacher that is not good in the classroom you do not want to say, “In my 25 years of teaching you are the worse teacher I have ever seen.” You might want to say, “As you know I have been teaching for a long time let me help you improve by……”
Scott and Jeff have great observations here. Avoiding the infamous hackysack moment can make a difference in one's life generally, but particularly professionally. I can can see Scott doing calm. Cant you? Scott you weren't there on that first day but this connects perfectly with what we discussed as the reason someone gets promoted when others do not. Honesty....you are so right Jeff...even if it means withholding information someone does not want to hear but needs to know. Great use of semantics...you've got the right idea. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI think that remaining calm in the midst of a storm is key. There are many times I deal with parents who are upset or angry over situations with their child involving the school. Sometimes it is conflict with a staff member, another student, or the disagreement in a policy or discipline consequence handed down. I have found by remaining calm and not take it personally helps. Trying to understand the parents' perspective on the situation helps in determining the best approach in obtaining resolution to the problem.
ReplyDeleteThis also applies to leading a staff. People do not trust or desire to work with leaders who react without thinking. They look for leadership and guidance. If the administrator seems to consistently be in a defensive or panicked mode, the staff questions their capabilities as a leader.
I think that at times we get caught in the moment. Some feel they have to have the answer and have it now. If we get accustomed to having answers and/or solutions readily available, we start to react to situations without thinking. It becomes instinctive. We must slow down and think about what what we are going to do and/or say next and how we reply to questions and/or situations. we must ensure that our solutions are not only a right solutions but more importantly the right solution.
ReplyDeletePersonal integrity is key in dealing with any sort of controversy on a campus. As an administrator, your staff, students, and community must be able to trust that you are going to do the right thing, even when no one is looking. It comes down to trust; without it you will never be able to move your school into the next level of success.
ReplyDeleteBecause issues involving emotional interaction/confrontation are inevitable in our roles as school leaders, it is important that we develop a repertoire of strategies for "buying time". Buying time is about giving yourself time to think carefully about an appropriate response ahead of time. For example, when responding to an upsetting e-mail via e-mail, one strategy I use is to impose a "24hr" rule on myself. I commit to not responding for 24hrs so that I can be sure that my response is not influenced by emotion. Because I have prepared this strategy in advance, I have it in my tool bag for use whenever I am attacked in an e-mail.In the case of the "hacky sack moment", the infamous administrator might have benefited from having a prepared strategy, in advance, for how she will respond to students when they "push her buttons". In the end, thinking about how you will react in the face of inevitable emotional interaction/confrontation in advance is the most effective way to prevent being caught in the moment. In our business, a poor decision in one moment can have a lasting impact on our future regardless of how wonderful our prior efforts have been.
ReplyDeleteMy thought is: patience is a virtue. We live in a world where everything is so fast paced. We want answers right away and everything to be solved right away. I think back to my masters coursework and one of my professors said “you never answer anything right away”. You always say “let me think about that and get back to you” no matter what it is because people tend to ask you stuff at the most inopportune times. My last thought on this is to THINK before you REACT.
ReplyDeleteI think the best way to avoid the hacky sack moment is to never take the behaviors of others as a personal attack on you. Most often than not, the anger that many people have has nothing to do with the person they are directing the anger toward. I have found on many occassions that there are always underlying issues with angry people and that sometimes I have to take the blunt of that anger and allow them to vent.
ReplyDeleteComposure comes with confidence and experience. While emotion and compassion are important in demonstrating support to a troubled student or challenging parent, equally important is keeping the emotion in control for every situation. It takes a person successive demonstrations of honor and integrity to build trust; how sad one thoughtless, impetuous moment can take it all away. It is my belief that an educator whose fiber of being is that of integrity, the longevity of his/her career is surely more secure.
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